Friday, January 31, 2014

30 in 30

One of my New Year's Resolutions this year is to Plan and Enjoy
 "30 celebrations of my 30th Wedding Anniversary"
The actual date falls at the end of this year
which gives me plenty of PARTY time.
 So far I have:
1. Enjoyed a Winter Wonderland trip to Wyoming with my whole family (all 10 of us.)
2. Had a WILD time (in 3D) at the city planetarium with the same 10 great people.
3.  ......and today I just finished attending the temple 30 times in 30 days.-----I started on January 2nd and attended every day that the temple was open. Twice a week I went twice in one day to make up for the 2 days a week that the temple is closed. I got this idea from the 90 meetings in 90 days program that is recommended to help addicts jumpstart and maintain their sobriety. ----I needed a jump start to some stability.
It was something that I could control.
It was nice.
Most every visit Heavenly Father gave me a crumb of personal revelation and hope to savour.
I also dropped a "thank you" note in the prayer roll box to thank Him for my many blessings....on every visit. :)

Now I have 27 more celebrations to plan and enjoy....Maybe one of them will be graduating from the LifeSTAR Addiction Program with my husband (Is there a graduation??). One will be sending 2 of our kids out into foreign lands as missionaries.
But the celebration I hope for most of all would be to have my husband healed and whole and living back home with me again. This is not something that I have any control over but that is not going to stop me from planning for it and hoping for it....until then, I can still have fun celebrating my anniversary.....even if sometimes I am partying all by myself. :)

Sunday, January 26, 2014

A store full of blessings

Today I cried through the whole temple session.
Not even the NEW new movie could distract my heart from feeling sad.
I have TWO kids that have their mission calls and are ready to go through the temple for their first time....but their dad recently has had his temple recommend revoked.
This should be a time that my JOY is doubly full but instead my sorrow is doubled.
My kids are trying to decide if they are going to wait until dad has his recommend back or just go through without him.
How nice of them to consider the feelings of their dad when he didn't consider their feelings before choosing to act out all these years.
If they go through the temple without their dad, I will be crying... again..... through another session---- It would have been so sweet to be the escort for my daughter and have my husband as the escort for my son during the same session. -----A dad should be the one to guide his family through this sacred experience.
During the prayer-circle prayer as I was thinking about how my joys are becoming sorrows, I tuned into the prayer and heard ".....and please bless those that have come to the temple today seeking a special blessing that they may know that there is a store full of blessings waiting for them if they are obedient to the covenants that they have made."

I know this is true.

"For after much tribulation come the blessings.." D&C 58:4

(I hope the blessings are doubled.) :)

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

The Principle of Compensation

Hello, this is Rose. My sister Daisy asked me to write an entry about my experience with the principle of compensation.  So I’d like to tell you about my experience and how it might relate to those who read this blog. 

When I was 20ish, I was sure I would be finding prince charming in the next couple of years.  10 years of failed relationships and dating dry spells later, I found myself at 31 and still single.  At times, the loneliness and hopelessness was as sharp as a knife.  Going to visit another sister (we will call her Tulip) who was about my age and had a loving husband and a house full of kids sliced right through my heart.   Pretty much every day for 10 years I prayed to find my husband.  I know this might not seem like a hard thing for some people, but for me it was the hardest trial of my life.  There were times I even questioned if God loved me.  During this time, I read a talk by a sweet man:

 “The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.
“One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.” --Joseph B. Wirthlin

I started to notice, that although Heavenly Father hadn’t answered my big prayer of finding my husband, he answered without fail every one of my little prayers. He granted my request to safely lift heavy patients at work, he miraculously found an expensive lost hearing aid of a patient, he helped me keep work and friend relationships solid despite some difficult circumstances. He provided me with inspiring and delightful role models and even an angel to teach me to be happy being older and single.  I got to the point where I made my little requests to Heavenly Father with confidence, knowing that He would grant them.  Eventually, He did finally answer my big prayer to find my husband.  We were married when I was 32. He is a good man like Moroni and I love him with all my heart.

The principle of compensation can apply to any trial. For some compensations, we might have to wait until after this probationary time, but please look for ways that God is compensating for your pain today. You will find them. 

Women are that they might have joy!



Friday, January 17, 2014

Dancing with the Devil

My home is not a temple. ------a little dancing with the devil has probably gone on in every room.

When I was little my dad told me a story about a man who had a house that was full of unclean spirits. One day he cleaned house and chased them all away....but he didn't fill his house with anything good...he just left it empty and all the evil spirits moved back in, each bringing 7 more bad spirits with him. (based on Matt 12:43-45)

 There are many other scripture stories where Jesus has cast out devils and unclean spirits. Why do I never hear of this happening today? Don't some of us have unclean spirits in us .....and maybe devils? Couldn't it help to have Priesthood blessings to cast out evil spirits?

Being a woman, I don't have the power to cast out devils but today I installed a Devil Blocker over my home.... all by myself. I feel pretty happy about it. I went to and changed some settings on my modem and now it filters EVERY internet device in my home..... this gives me greater peace of mind that my teenage daughter's IPod Touch now has a filter and the tablets and labtops and it even covers the cellular phones....and it was free.

Go dance somewhere else, DEVIL!

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking who he may devour." (1 Peter 5:8)

Wednesday, January 8, 2014


Dear Beautiful Wives of Sex Addicts,
I need your help.
It's past time for me to come up with some boundaries...but setting boundaries feels so unnatural for me. Why can't everyone just be GOOD ....and NICE?
So I 've read several books and as many of YOUR boundaries as I could find and now have drafted my own. 
Would you mind reading through them and sharing your opinions? Are they okay? Did I leave anything out?

My Rights and Boundaries
I fell in love with my husband and married him not knowing that there was an addiction problem. I have done my best to love the problem away but it has not worked. My heart can no longer bear all the issues associated with this addiction. I deserve a faithful, honest and kind husband.
I will no longer allow my husband's bad behaviors to dominate my life.
If I feel manipulated, shunned, bullied, mocked or punished, then I will naturally need emotional distance from my husband. If it’s bad enough then he will need to sleep in the guest bed. I will also turn to my tiger team for support.
I have a right to have a faithful husband. If he cheats on me in any form, then I will naturally need emotional and physical distance from him and he will need to sleep in the guest bed. I will also turn to my tiger team for support.
I have a right to have an honest husband. If I uncover a lie in any form, then I will want my husband to move out until I feel safe with him again. It’s not possible to build a strong marriage without trust. During that space I will work on my own healing and turn to my tiger team for support.
I have a right to live with a husband who is working on his recovery. If I feel that recovery efforts stall or stop then I will take a break from my marriage and ask my husband to move out.
I have a right to live in a porn-free home. If I discover devices that have been used for viewing porn then I will put a filter on them or destroy them.
I have a right to feel loved for more than just my body. If I feel any pressure from my husband in sexual matters or if I feel that my body is the main source of attraction, I will take sex off the table, until I feel like he loves me for more than my body.