I did something empowering yesterday.
For you to understand my little triumph, I need to tell you what happened 3 years ago on a day that I set out to ride my bike from my home to the canyon - a 15 mile one-way trek. At about 10 miles into the ride there was a blockade with a sign saying that the bike path was closed. I started following the detour signs but they led me astray and I ended up getting lost---I never found the bike path again. When I called my husband to come pick me up, I learned that he had abruptly left town and had turned off his phone. I felt lost and abandoned there on the trail and also in my troubled marriage. I stood there holding my bike with tears rolling down my cheeks feeling powerless.
I can't explain how it happened, but in my pain I had a born-again moment. I finally realized that I really was powerless ---I could not fix my marriage no matter how hard I tried. That day I looked up to heaven and told God that I couldn't do it any more and that I was giving my people and my problems to Him.
It was the first day of my own recovery. It was almost like I had been stuck on the back of a tandem bike for years going places that I didn't want to go and on that day I got off and got on my own bike and said, "God, I'll go where you want me to go."
Recently I've been thinking that I should get back on my real bike and head towards the canyon for a redo and have my husband come pick me up and erase that memory now that things are going more smoothly in our marriage.
So yesterday I got my grandma body on my 20 year old mountain bike
and peddled towards the morning sun,
I rode past American flags,
people walking their dogs,
a lacrosse team practicing in a field,
views of the valley,
a father on roller blades pushing a stroller,
sparkling water spraying from sprinklers,
Little bum bikers whizzed by me.
One of them said "Good Morning" as he passed and then I saw that he only had one leg.
I saw a family of six on 2 tandem bikes built for 3.
It was a beautiful day.
When I got to the canyon after 15 miles of riding,
I stopped to enjoy the scenery
and then I thought,
"I don't need my husband to come get me. I can get back home by myself!"
So I turned around and peddled 15 miles back home.
My big bum hurts today and that is okay. I feel powerful, strong and independent.
"Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life." -2 Nephi 31:20