The Gallop National Polling company just called me and for 8 minutes asked me about my emotions.
"On a ladder with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest, how do you feel today?"
I was surprised to hear myself say "8".
I wouldn't have been able to say that last month or last week but this week I have emerged from 6 months of crummy emotions.
My tummy has now untwisted, my heart beats have stabilized and I feel joy.
I am a little surprised to realize that I can feel this happy again.
I have to say here that I admire my husband for still being around through all of this.
Because he is a man, (and an addict), I don't believe that he has visited the emotional extremes that I frequently feel. In the past when I have had negative emotions, he was unable to hold me in my pain and many times I have felt emotionally abandoned. But for the past 6 months he has valiantly tried to stay connected for the ride. I appreciate and admire that.
In group last week our therapist asked us women if any of us had any "slips" the previous week.
What???? Only ADDICTS have slips!
This idea that fear, panic and anger are slips is illuminating for me.--It makes me feel strong and gives me an excuse to not have knee-jerk emotions--Blaming my pain on my husband could be a... SLIP!
I am sooo glad to feel better than I did. I am thankful for passing TIME and for LifeStar and for healthy diversions.
At this moment my husband and kids are having a healthy diversion at the Energy Solutions Center at the Brian Regan concert--Brian can make anyone happy. Have you seen his emergency room clip? (He is also at an "8"!)
"...be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you..." -Jesus (D&C 68:6)