Monday, May 4, 2015

An Unashamed Plug

I grew up in a log home on a mountain in Wyoming.  Above the house in a small clump of Aspen trees, was our well that provided us water.  I've long since moved so my memories of the well come from the mind of a child and my child memory says that the hole in the ground was about 15 feet deep and the water in the hole would rise and fall within that space. I can feel the anxiety level rise in me just thinking about the well. It was dark, had gurgley sounds and housed many unseen but imagined creatures....

One day my dad and I were looking down into the hole and my dad's sunglasses fell off of his head and landed on a small board that was floating on top of the water in the well. It was quiet for a minute as we each pondered what had just happened and what our options were in recovering the glasses and then Dad turned to me and said, "I will give you a candy bar if you will let me hold you by your feet and lower you down into the well so that you can grab my glasses."

No. Way.

I didn't have the courage.

As an adult, I didn't have a choice when I found myself in a "hole"--upside down, alone and scared as a loved one of a sex addict. I've always known that God was holding onto my feet to keep me from drowning but He has never taken away my struggle.- The struggle to breath. The struggle to see. The struggle to think straight.

I was there for many years (decades) struggling alone because I was afraid. I was afraid for anyone to know my secret and I felt I had to hide my husband's secret.

When I did get out, it was because of a human chain of women who knew what it was like to be in the hole. They were linked together reaching down for me..

The Togetherness Project recently shared this quote by Rachel Naomi Remen,
 "Expertise cures, but wounded people can best be healed by other wounded people. Only other wounded people can understand what is needed, for the healing of suffering is compassion, not expertise."
One place of compassion for me has been They have a private forum where betrayed women can "talk", share wisdom, resources and wit anonymously. It is a place where I have been able to link my arms with other woman warriors and be supported when there was no ground to stand on. It's a safe place. It's a gathering place not only for women but also for resources (links, blogs, support meeting options, therapists, filters, resources for moms ...)

Now that I am linked tight with a strong chain of women, I want to reach out and find others to help out of dark places.

Do YOU need a lift? Come join hearts with us!

If you are already linked in the chain of recovering women and have enjoyed the benefits of this private forum, would you mind adding the Hope and Healing "button" to your blog? Here is the info to paste into your gadget:

<a href=""><img src="" alt=""Mormon wives pornography addiction"></a>

There is a tutorial on how to add a button here.

Also, Hope & Healing is looking to publish guest posts on their site. If you have an Awesome post on HOPE or HEALING that you would like to submit for review, you can send it here.

I love you. We love you. This is a hard trial but together we are going to be OK and we are going to be happier and healthier than we have ever been.

Post note- I didn't have the courage to get my dad's glasses, but my little sister did. She got the glasses.... and the candy bar. I love sisters.

 "I would that ye should remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delievered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day."  --Alma 38:5