#hashtagsmashtag #pornkillslove #agencystinks

Do we have to filter hashtags too?

I drive four young teenage girls to tennis lessons every Monday afternoon. Listening to their happy conversations sometimes makes me want to LOL .....but I hold it in.  ---The girls have more fun when they forget that a parent is listening.
On my last drive the girls had a giddy conversation about Instagram. After dropping them off I got on my own Instagram that my daughters set up for me a few weeks previous. There were some fun pictures and hashtags. I clicked on a hashtag for the first time ever.....and OH MY GOSH--I had to close my eyes quick and tight! Isn't there any safe place on the Internet for teenagers without filth?

That night I asked my daughter if she ever runs into pornography on her IPod Touch and she said that only when she has clicked on the hashtags.

Trying to filter pornography from my family and home is impossible. I am hoping that FILTERING is maybe the 3rd line of defense. The first line of defense may be LOVE.--Something I have more control over but that I haven't been that good at.

I wish that I could be a young mom again and love my kids better. I think that I was too preoccupied with trying to be GOD---putting most of my energies into saving my husband. And when I wasn't being God, I was being Satan---busy filtering, making rules and taking away agency as much as I could to prevent my husband and kids from learning from their own experiences. All this wasted energy trying to be someone that I wasn't made me a disengaged mom.

In LifeStar we learned that 2/3rd of all addicts come from rigid and disengaged homes. BINGO! That's my home. My husband has been disengaged because of his addiction and I have been disengaged because of his addiction.

If I could go back to being a young mom again, I would know that I cannot solve the addictions of others, but that God CAN and that I should just relax more and let Him.

If I could go back to being a young mom again, I would live in the present more, make Kool-aid more, hug more, listen more and sit on the rug and play games more.

If I could go back to being a young mom again, I would stand up for myself more and for straight thinking more.

But Alas, I can't go back...but I am still a mom (and a grandmom!) It didn't work for me to try to be God or Satan.... but I can be a Powerful Mom....which is enough. I am going to try to be better.

#itsnottoolate  #momsarepowerful #loveistime