12 years ago when I felt like my husband was looking at pornography, I went to the bishop and he said, "Don't tell anyone" and so I didn't.....but now 12 years later, I think what he really meant was "Don't tell everyone."
A spouse of an addict cannot hold ALL the pain and ALL the consequences and ALL the side affects and ALL the waste-products that come with loving someone who has an addiction. --I do agree that it is not wise to hang someone's dirty laundry in the front yard for everyone to see but if the spouse of an addict is going to stay in a marriage she needs to be stabilized by outside support.
This time around I have gathered a TIGER TEAM to support me. This is a small circle of people that care about me AND my husband. These are strong people----The type of people that will tell the truth even if it hurts to hear it. They are willing to furiously fight for me and my family.
I have been very careful on who I have chosen to be on this team. I picked one person from my family and one person from my husband's family and a few close friends. Also on the team is our therapist, the bishop....... and our All-White Tiger.
Each team member can be trusted to keep a secret.
I also asked my husband to pick someone from his family for his own Tiger Team.--- Bishops get released, therapists get expensive. I wanted someone who was going to be with us forever to be on his team to love and support him....even when I cannot.
In the past I thought I was strong to carry the problem alone...... but I am not strong enough. I need help. I need to talk to people when I am feeling crazy and I also need outside perspective when I can't see through the smoke.
Thank you Tiger Team.
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