What I have learned.

This will probably be my last post for a while.
I've got to unplug from the Internet and plug into my teenagers more. They'll hate it but it will be GREAT! :)

But before I go, I want to share an update on where I'm at-----My husband and I have been separated for the last 6 months. I first asked him to sleep in the guest bedroom but then I asked him to move out. It was good for me and him to have some space to read, think and heal.

Sometimes people don't change until the pain of changing is less than the pain of remaining the same.

 Recently I invited him to move back home.

My soul missed him. 

He has worked really hard, has done some courageous things and as a result is in recovery.
Things are not perfect but I believe at this point that
we can work on things better together, hand-in-hand, than apart.

I hate to brag here but this trial has been long and excruciatingly hard but I feel proud of my self. I did a pretty good job of keeping my side of the street clean. I've been kind and loving through it all.
And because he likes my meatloaf, my homemade bread and me, he came back a better man.


Since this is my last post, I want to share some of the things that I have learned over the past 6 months from LifeStar, therapy and God.

• I am just where I need to be. God has customized challenges for each of us. He knows just how to sanctify, purify and perfect his kids.
• Doing more than I should, fixing others problems, taking the consequences from others and doing things I don't want to do for others is being an ENABLER...this is my talent if I have any. I am trying to fix this in me.
• My intuitions are usually dead on.
• I have a voice and it's okay to use it to stand up for righteousness.
• Living in the present is where the gift of happiness is found.
• 5 deep breaths are good medicine for hard moments.
• God loves me. Why else would he bother to create a snowflake, a daisy or a mango?
• Self Care = eating a bowl of ice-cream while doing yoga and whatever else sounds fun to me.
• I am not better than anyone else but no one is more incredible than me.
• Stressing out makes my body hurt.
• Sisterhood is powerful. I love my daughters, my mother, my biological sisters, my RS sisters and my dear friends.
• I can be okay no matter what choices my loved ones make.
• I'm not a victim. My husband is not a victim. We are stronger than that.
• I need to be the REAL me.
• Recovery can be expensive.
• The SA 12-step group is divine. My husband loves his brotherhood there. I love that they sing Happy Birthday to each member when they hit the year anniversaries of their sobriety. :)
• Bishops are great First Responders. They can listen, assess the problem and provide outside resources for deeper healing. I've been to lots of bishops over this same problem and it's always nice to leave some of my pain on their desk and walk out feeling a little better. My current bishop has been fabulous. On my last visit he introduced me to this video:

and the story behind it:

I still have so much to learn.
I am thankful that I can change and be better tomorrow than I am today.
I will continue to fight for a healthy husband, a healthy marriage,
a healthy family and a healthy ME.

~daisy unplugged

"With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the Lord our god to help us, and to fight our battles." --2 Chr. 32:8